Monday, October 6, 2008

Iran Writes The EU A Love Letter

Doesn't Actually Profess Love

Iran, to secure their reputation of being extremely shifty, is delivering a letter to EU foreign policy chief Javier Solana today, reflecting Iran's views on their nuclear program and how it ought to be handled by the six powers of the world, also known as America. Iran has long been denying that they're making bombs, claims made while they're twirling their beards with an evil gleam in their eye, standing in front of large nuclear bombs. This has been leading the EU to wonder, "Are those bombs? Maybe? I can't tell, I'm distracted by the beards." A sentiment, I think, the entire world shares.

Iran's letter is shrouded in secret until someone actually reads it, but it pretty much goes like this:

Dear World,

We are totally not making bombs with our nuclear technology. We don't do that shit. We are all about equality between men and women, a free government, separation of church and state and things that aren't bombs. See? We're just like you. Now keep your goddamned Westernized infidel noses out of our business, we have bombs to make.

Love,
Iran

Source

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