Russia Doesn't Care About Your Election

More Concerned With Being Ominous

America has been experiencing both elation and a new surge of racism after Barack Obama was announced president-elect last night. But does Russia care? Hell no. They have more important things to do than worry about some little election in a country that is sort of in their backyard if you count Alaska.

So it is with little surprise that Russia celebrates the election of Obama by hinting that they're going to be firing some missiles into the Baltic so America stops running it's mouth about how the economy has stopped their bid to go to war with everyone. When Russian president Dmitri Medvedev was questioned on his feelings about the new administration, he said in his best forbidding and ominous voice that he hoped:

“Our partners — the new U.S. administration — will make a choice in favor of a full-fledged relationship with Russia.”

He then went on to add, "The choice is that they submit to Russian rule, or be destroyed. And buy more vodka, because the funding for this operation needs to come from somewhere!"

I knew a little thing like a gaping vortex of an economic downfall could not stop Russia from promoting violence.

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